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# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

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Bob Rivers




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12 Pains Of Christmas
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at...
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Beat Up Old Jetliner
Goodbye to all my friends I've known
And the travel agent I trusted.
I'm riding along on this beat-up old...
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Bowel Moves
I was a little too stuffed, had to lose a few pounds,
Pants too tight, seams bustin' out.
Just had a big...
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Don't Shoot Mr. Postman
Have yourself an ozzy little christmas
Give a bat a bite
Decorate your devil head with twinkling...
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Frosty The Pervert
Frosty the pervert
in a trench coat he did go
to a the school yard to expose his dick and balls made of...
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Getting Fatter All The Time
I'm getting fatter all the time.
I used to be size 32 and I never gave.
My jeans used to fit, I looked...
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Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas
Yo Yo


Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East...
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How It Feels (To Be Old)
Lately all the songs I write
Are slow and on the mellow side.

I used to stand on MTV,
But now they bring...
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I Used To Rock And Roll All Night
You loved us when the band was hot.
And now we're gonna give it one more shot.
We're gettin' old,
We must be...
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I'm A Weight Watcher
I'm a Weight Watcher,
I'm a Weight Watcher,
Watchin' food go by.
My, my, my.

I'm a Weight...
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Mr. magoo
Got a flat in Timbuktu
Waiting for AAA
And I saw that single headlight through the rain
Flagged the geezer...
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O.J.'s Trial Thing
O.J., O.J.
O.J., I think you did it.
But I wanna know for sure.
You expect people to believe that there are...
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Officer Fuhrman
He likes to set up colored people.
He likes to frame the colored people.

Officer Fuhrman driving through...
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Read It In The Tabloids
I bet you're wondering how I knew
That Prince Charles and Lady Di were through.
Was waiting in line at the...
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Walking Around In Women's Underwear
"Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes,
her silk...
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What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells
It’s worse than Disco
It’s worse that Achy Breaky Fever Too
This is L. A. M. E.

If I gotta hear this...
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What If God Smoked Cannibis?
"If God had long hair, and a goatee.
And if his eyes looked pretty glazed.
If he looked spaced...
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When A Man Loves A Chicken
When a man loves a chicken
He can't keep his mind on nothin' else,
He stay in the barn for the good thing he's...
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Wrong Foot Amputated
Wrong foot amputated
Wrong foot amputated
He got the wrong foot amputated

The doctor had compassion he...
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You Will, By Bright Eyes
you say i treat you like a bookon a shelf. i dont take you out that often
cuz i know that i completed you and that...
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